My Motivation

This is what keeps me going. This is why I am the way I am. This little boy is the reason why I push myself to my limits no matter what the consequences. He is the love of my life. He makes me strong. His smile makes me melt. His goofyness makes me laugh. He is the motivation for everything that I do and I couldnt love him or be more proud of him than I am now. Hes a great little boy, polite, kind, funny, and a typical boy all in one.   

Every now and then I have to ask myself of why I push myself so hard and then I see his face and it reminds me. :)

Would have been nice to know ahead of time...

So I was pretty much bombarded at Tristan's school today. I get there and Tristan is throwing a fit because he is way tired and I am signing him in and whatever else when I hear Tristan's name. I turn around and look at his teacher and she says this is Tristans mom right here. I look over and get introduced to a lady from the Longview School District. Then his teacher proceeded to tell me that she wasn't sure if my family advocate had called me or not about Tristan's developmental tests, but they determined he may need speech therapy to help him progress with his speaking. We have always wondered if he needed some extra help but his doctor has always said oh hes doing fine. He gets really frustrated when we try to correct him and when we cant understand him. I'm all about getting my son the help he needs, but really? could you have at least given me a heads up before I got there. So I ran late today and no one likes to hear that their child may need a little more help than most kids so I was a little upset...but seriously why wasn't I told last week? ugh so if they determine that he does need to work with the speech pathologist he will have an individualized program to help him, which means more homework for us so to speak on top on my ginormous stack of college homework. I barely have enough time for him as it is...I will have to find fun ways to help him with this. Lots happening in the next few weeks. Project for marketing due Thursday, Dentist appt. for Tristan  Friday, timed write and project due on Tuesday, picture day for Tristan  Wednesday, packing Wednesday, Signing lease and moving Friday, cleaning Saturday, then Halloween on Sunday. I might go crazy by the end of this month. I really need a vacation. I need to take classes next summer but I may need the break. :(

Never thought I would react this way...

So last time I came up to my moms, a lady merged into our lane without looking, brakes were slammed on, horn was honked, obscene hand gestures were made. Scared the crap out of me. I never thought I would ever be bugged by something like this.

Today I had like a panic attack because of it. Was driving to Tacoma, to see my mom, and as I pass cars my heart races and i tend to swerve to the left (when in the fast lane), or away from another car. Today not only did my heart race but I cried. I don't think it was because i was that scared, I was more upset with myself for letting this get to me so much. I've always thought about cars merging without looking but now i think everyone is doing it even when they arn't. I really didnt think that I would be traumatized by something like that. People cut people off all the time or turn when they arnt supposed to or wahtever and its never bugged me and now Im scared to drive on the freeway and now even more that Im going to freak out over nothing and end up getting in an accident anyways. Ugh.

This isnt acceptable in my book and Im more upset with myself for letting this one incident get to me soo much. I know the incident was traumatizing but it could have been worse ya know? It just aggravates me.

They hate me...

Seriously, I have never had an instructor like this one before and next semester I will have him 2 times a day 2 days a week!!! Looks like I have my classes picked out, just have to move some stuff around and decided on whether or not to take a technical writing class online or not. I have taken english classes online before so I wouldnt be worried about it...or I can take in on mondays with my managment class. As im talking with my friend Angela about this schedule and classes I am getting more and more stressed out haha. This is crazy. Next Monday I have to have my classes picked out. Rediculous. Im nervous about next semester now...but now that I know what he is like, it shouldnt be too bad...right? :/

Has anyone ever wanted to just smack someone for being sooo cocky? Thats how this instructor is. Its just too much. Alright Im done bitching...Ill make it work, I always do. Just gotta make the decision. SO here is my schedule, maybe:
For Sure:
ACCTG 331 Financial II                    TTh 2:50-4:05
ACCTG 335 Intro to Tax                   TTh 12 - 1:15
Need to Decide on:
MGTOP 301 Priciples of Mgmt          MW 2:50 - 4:05 or
FIN        325 Intro to Financial Mgmt  TTh 1:25 - 2:40
ENGL   402 Techincal Writing             Online or In class MW 1:25 - 2:40 or TTh @ 10:35, 1:25, or 4:15

Any suggestions???  Why am I doing this again? lol Its so gonna be worth it in the end. The process just sucks. I miss my crap classes that no one else seems to want to take. You know the filler classes required for your degree that dont have anything to do with your major? I miss those. If you have any Ideas please feel free to put in your two cents. haha.
<3 me

It smells like rain.

I LOVE the smell of rain. I love the sound of it and I love the smell right before it rains. I hate this time of the year though. I have no motivation to do anything and i miss the sun tremendously when it is gone. I hate when my pants get wet and I hate being cold. I love the smell though. I will say that I prefer fall over winter. I hate the ice and snow. Tis the life of a Washingtonian i suppose.

This week has been crazy. Classes went by quick, got to volunteer at Tristans school, and this weekend is flying by as well. Volunteering was definately fun but I wish tristan  would not act like a spoiled little boy when I was there. Hoping to break him of that. He lost his trip to the fire department today because of him not listening and throwing a fit. It really bummed me out but I dont know how else to get through to him. Were working on it i suppose. Next weekend we will be at my moms to go to the pumpkin patch...hoping hes a good boy this week so we can actually go. I would be even more bummed if we cant do that. Hes a good boy and I love him to pieces, just needs to learn to listen.

The reason I posted this was to tell you all my love for the smell and sound of the rain. I love the smell of the rain not the rain itself. just the smell. Its like the smell of the ocean for me. Its soothing.

Lesson for the day: Common Courtesy

Lets start this lesson by breaking it down. Dictionary definition for Common is widespread, general, ordinary. In other words well known. Dictionary Definition for Courtesy is a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression. People without common courtesy skills has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. 


Number 1: Do not intterupt someone mid sentence or try to talk over them. Its rude and annoying. I try my hardest not to do this and find myself frequently telling other people to stop and listen for a second. And if they wont then I dont talk. And if I do it, please tell me because I know how irritating it is.


Number 2: When living with someone else no matter if its friends or family, show some damn respect and let them know what your up to or when your going to be home so if someone is trying to get a hold of you they have a good idea of where you are or when you will be back, especially if you have no other way of contacting you. I dont care how old you are or if its none of their business, be respectful and grateful for what they are doing for you. 


Number 3: When you agree to do something, DO IT! I cannot stress this enough. Dont agree to something if you know you wont have time to do it and if you cant keep track of all of the things you have agreed to do, get a day planner and keep it written down so you dont over extend yourself and have people get pissed when you cant follow through.


Number 4: Read the speed limit signs please. I prefer to go at least close to the speed limit instead of 15 miles an hour under it and when merging lanes on the freeway. please look before doing so. I like to be living thanks. 


Say excuse me when you burp or need through, let people go when you have a few seconds to spare, stop for the people waiting to cross the street, hold the door open for people coming in or out of a place you are going into or out of. Show some freakin respect people. I cant handle it anymore. Im so done. 


Sorry Thats my rant for the day. 

Where to start?

Ahhh how I have missed this. I just never go on Myspace anymore and need a place to write again. Not that it was ever for anyone else. I am pretty sure I blog for myself most of the time just to get things out or on paper so to speak. I remember things better that way I think.

Well Tristan will be 4 this year, which is crazy. He wants a spongebob birthday (imagine that) and cant wait for it. He is in head start now and he loves it! He is learning so much and I cant wait to start volunteering on Wednesdays to watch him learn everything. He is a very active little boy. He has his own sense of humor and loves to make people laugh. He loves to play with other kids and is concerned about them if they are upset. He has his moments though, as all kids do, but he is a good kid. He knows the rules and for the most part follows them, he has excellent manners according to his teachers, and he plays well with others. He picks up after himself most of the time, brushes his teeth without being asked, and is very independent. Its crazy that he is so big now.

I cannot believe I have finally finished my first bit of schooling. I didn't think the day would ever come. Now that i have started my 2nd bit of schooling, it seems as though it will never end. I really need a vacation. Perhaps next summer after summer semester. It will all be worth it in the end and I keep telling myself that. I'm not working at the moment but am hoping to get a job next year sometime. I really want to focus on this first semester. University classes are definitely different and some are more intense. More people and harsher instructors. Ill make it though. I seem to be doing alright so far and somehow no matter how busy my life is, I always manage to get everything done that I need to and still find time to do everything I do with my son. Today for example, I had errands to run and things to do, but found time to do crafts and decorate with him. He loves it when we do that kind of stuff. I don't know how I do it sometimes, but I do and am grateful that I can do all that I do.

I love my life and all the craziness about it. I can't wait to move to my new apartment and make new memories with my son. :)