A whole year has gone by

Wow a whole year gone already. What a year it has been too. Here are some updates:

Tristan: he is getting so big. Big ole 7 year old now. He joined Kung fu last summer and loves it. Moves up to a yellow belt this month. Counseling is good. He's still adjusting to dad living in Oregon now though. Grandpa is still his best friend and he is soooo happy his nana is in town for good now. He is able to tell me when his sensory stuff is needed and he is an amazing big brother. He's got his first TWO loose teeth and I think I'm more excited than him lol. School is great. Reading really well and reading everything! Math is his strong suite though just like his mama.

Brayden: he is getting big too. Two more months and he will be 2 years old. Still struggling with his asthma and now he's got developmental delays that we are working on. He goes to progress center for speech an occupational therapy. They are thinking oral sensory issues and his hearing loss is affecting his speech. Voice recognition is 35 in one ear and 45 in the other. The normal range is 25. We are being referred to get a swallow study done. He aspirates when he drinks and is super picky about food. It's hard To say what's causing  it so they wanna rule everything out. Rather find out now then later. He's got so much personality and is pretty much the cutest baby ever. 

Me: I am doing very well. I got a full time position with the city of kalama. Great pay, awesome hours, and amazing benefits. I'm the utility clerk so I bill all water sewer and garbage. I'm still an employee at Office Depot too but only on call and every other weekend. It's nice to know my schooling wasn't for nothing. I'm proud of how far I have come in the past few years. Amazing kids, amazing job, amazing life for now. 

All in all things are going good for this family. Crazy as my little family is...things are finally starting to fall into place. :)

Its Been a While

Man its been a while since I have posted on here. Lots going on in the world of craziness. So lets go down the list.

ME: I am still going to school. Going for my Bachelors in Psych and will graduate in April of 2014 if all goes to plan. Watching kids for a few friends and making some extra money that way. Selling stuff on an online auction to make extra money as well. Life is good right now. This will be a good year. Counseling is going fantastically and my health is good too. My thyroid is still low but not low enough to medicate. Check again in 6 months.

Tristan: SPD is super hard to deal with in a 6 year old. Havn't been taking him to the sensory gym as often as I should and it really really shows. He is super wound up and extra defiant. Since he has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder things have been a little rougher for him. Hes doing amazing in school though so thats a good thing. Highest reading group and highest math group. Hes so smart. Hes got such personality and although he has extra needs he is a great kid. We go to the neurology appointment on friday to check for a tethered cord. Praying he doesn't need surgery or anything drastic but looking for answers as well.

Brayden: Oh man. He is growing up too fast. Next month he will be 1 year old. He is walking everywhere. Has 7 teeth. Is clapping and trying to talk. Time flies. We see the lung specialist tuesday and see what else we can do for him. The new action plan doesnt seem to be doing much but the pulmonologist can tell better than me. Just wish he wouldnt be so sick all the time. According to the lung doctor, he gets so many URI's because the albuteral and flovent arn't working completely as they should be. The albuterol clears the airways and makes them less inflamed and the flovent is supposed to prevent them from inflaming again. Hes super wheezy still but some of that is from the Tracheamalacia.

Overall we are doing good and getting to the bottom of the medical issues. Thats all for now. <3 you all.

Kindergarten in TWO WEEKS!!!!

So t starts kindergarten soon. I cant believe it! Hes grown so quick. I realized that after I stopped doing his occupational therapy regularly he started to act up more so back to doing that again. Not sure why I thought he would do ok without it. But we are getting back on track. Hes super excited for school and I cant wait to volunteer for his school too.

Brayden is a whopping 16lbs 15oz now. Hes starting to try and crawl and is much more active now. Signing him up for early headstart. Cant wait for him to get into that.

I am on my third week of my psychology class. I love it! The online thing is a little nerve racking but I am managing. Cant wait to be done with school and starting my career as a family advocate.

Overall we are doing good. Just going to school and hanging out with my boys. Hope everyone is doing well in their world. much love from the 3 of us. :)

It's been a while...

So I have to figure out how to get back to my blog online. Since my university of Phoenix uses google it thinks I'm trying to make a new blog haha. Once I figure that out I'll update it. I really need to post. Got lots to talk about <3 you all!

Parenting a Sensitive Child...

So here are some things that I am doing for my boy. I love his counselor. His Occupational Therapist is amazing too. Shes given me TONS of ideas to help him. I have done so much research on helping him become less sensitive and let me tell you it is a FULL TIME JOB! On top of all his emotional stuff hes got this other stuff and i feel bad for him but things are getting better. Here are some of the things we are doing now.

The surgical scrub brush is used as a calming technique. He really likes it. He doesnt like to use it in front of people because hes scared they wont understand but hopefully he will get to the point where it doesnt bother him.

The weighted lap mat is also a calming technique and helps with his seeking sensory dysfunction. I have noticed a big change in how often he runs into people for impact now that he has one of these to give him the pressure and weight he needs.

The Rice sensory bin is used as another calming technique and it has cars, marbles, and beads in it. The beads have pipe cleaners he can string them on to help with fine motor skills and every now and then he picks the marbles out with his eyes closed.

The Bean sensory bin has the same purpose as the rice bin but the beans are heavier so he likes to make them rain over his hands for that seeking sensory thing.

Helping mom cook helps desensitize him. It shows him its ok to get messy while cooking. He loves to stir but if he has to touch the butter he freaks.

This is his birds nest. We are relating angry birds to his anger and its really helping. He now tells me when he is feeling angry and that he would like to go sit in his bird nest. He has his rice bags and his bins there as well as the angry bird cool down techniques we practice and a box with books, crayons, paper, and coloring books in it to help him calm down. :)

And lastly we are making a visual schedule since he is always needing extra time to transition. This shows him what to expect for his day. He is so excited to start using it. 

This cookie sheet is our new project from his OT. I am supposed to have him do two activities he doesnt like to do (i.e. clipping nails, practice writing, washing hands, fine motor skills, etc.) for a certain amount of time and then the 3rd thing is something likes to do (i.e. coloring, playing the wii, and other things he loves doing).

All in all things are going well for my little man and we are getting along much better now that we know how to help him. He is really taking everything from counseling and the OT seriously and I couldnt be more proud of him. There are some things going on at dads but those will be dealt with very soon. Love you all! 

What a day!

Today has been amazing. Tristan has been so well behaved and doing so good calming himself down. Im so proud of him. Hes taking what we work on in counseling and really doing well with it. He had his parent teacher conference today and hes improved so much since January! All that hard work we do is really paying off. :) He also woke up dry today! Im so proud of him for that because he usually doesnt care when he wears a pull up. Hes going to get a treat after dinner for all the good things hes done today. :) Hopefully he can keep up the good work. I am finally making progress in counseling and starting next week, we start diving into where all my resentment and anger comes into play...er really where I believe it stems from.

All around we are doing well in this house today. Hope everyone else had a great day! :) <3 you all.

SPD?

So ts counselor and I suspected some sensory processing stuff with him. So she recommended we go see an occupational therapist to get a sensory profile. Although she has not diagnosed him with this she does think he has some sensory things to work on. Enough to have him go in every week. For those of you who dont know what SPD is Here is a quick overview.

Sensory processing (sometimes called "sensory integration" or SI) is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, school failure, and other impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively. Symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder, like those of most disorders, occur within a broad spectrum of severity. While most of us have occasional difficulties processing sensory information, for children and adults with SPD, these difficulties are chronic, and they disrupt everyday life.

Thats an overview of it. This next part is where I see A LOT of tristan.

 Children with Sensory Processing Disorder often have problems with motor skills and other abilities needed for school success and childhood accomplishments. As a result, they often become socially isolated and suffer from low self-esteem and other social/emotional issues. These difficulties put children with SPD at high risk for many emotional, social, and educational problems, including the inability to make friends or be a part of a group, poor self-concept, academic failure, and being labeled clumsy, uncooperative, belligerent, disruptive, or "out of control." Anxiety, depression, aggression, or other behavior problems can follow. Parents may be blamed for their children's behavior by people who are unaware of the child's "hidden handicap."

The part in bold is where I see him. He has so many emotional issues that it really explains it. SO my goal is to pinpoint the triggers and help prevent them as well as providing him with sensory friendly activities. She said after about 4 or 5 weeks she will have some take home tools for us.

As I have said time and time before I dont want there to be something wrong with him but my instinct is telling me there is something more and has been since he was a baby. I feel relieved that someone is finally listening to everything I am saying and we are finally getting some answers. I feel a little bummed because no one wants to hear things arnt working right in their kids. But I am glad I am finally getting the tools I need to help him and that its not just me being a 'bad parent'. Hes a great kid and so smart and funny and sweet but there are things that make him more emotional. She told us today that it looks like he has problems in the Tactile sensory area, sensory seeking, and audible. The other areas there are a few things that he is super sensitive to but not as much as these three. Our first goal is to help with the noises and his hyperfocusing so he can seem like he is actually paying attention to us. All I can say is counseling is really starting to pay off, and I am so happy I kept him in it and didnt let people get to me. Like his doctor said, "It doesnt make you a bad parent, it just means that you need extra tools to deal with a different type of child."

Its been a while...

Well it has been forever since I have actually blogged. There is lots going on in our crazy little life. Lets start with me.

So I moved in with my sister and brother in law in february. Its going pretty good and we all get along so it works. I love my new apartment and I love that its so close to town now. I had Brayden Anderson in March and hes just an amazing addition to our little family. I am still in counseling and since I have switched I feel amazing. I really like this new counselor, he is really helping me see things a bit more clearly or i should say helping me realize that I already have seen these things and know exactly what I need to do to move forward. The weather is definitely affecting my mood and I still have times when I am down but im working on it and couldnt be happier with everything in my life right now. :)

Tristan is doing great! He starts kindergarten in the fall and is doing amazing at learning everything he has to for the next grade. He loves his new little brother. Hes so sweet to him. He is still in counseling as well and is doing great. We switched his and she is a much better fit for him. He is learning that its not all about him and I think having Brayden around is helping with that as well. He seems to be having some sensory stuff going on so I am having a sensory profile done with an occupational therapist. As a mom I feel like there is more there than the typical 5 year old stuff, but all of it could be attributed to all the change in his life as well and the fact that he has a dad that is kinda flakey. He really likes counseling and I get a lot from his sessions on new ways to help with his "big feelings". He had an art show today and was so proud of himself. Im so proud of him and all the hard work he does with school, speech therapy, and with his counselor. Hes an amazing little boy thats for sure.

So, Brayden was born March 13, 2012. He weighed 6lbs 1 oz and was 19 3/4 inches long. He had some trouble eating for the first few days but hes doing great now. He weighs 8 lbs and 15 oz now and is 20 3/4 inches long. Hes already holding his head up and is starting to sleep through the night. hes a good baby but is a little tougher than tristan was. He is more cuddly than tristan was and seems to always want to be held. T wasnt like that so its new to me. The doctor asked me if he was an easy, normal, or hard baby and i had to say normal because t was so easy.

Hope everyone is doing well. <3 you all!

Lots of Little THings

So as most of you know, Its a BOY! :) Im excited for him to be here already. Tristan can't wait for his brother to be here either. He keeps talking to him and trying to feel him move. Talking with the dad this weekend about names so hopefully will have a name by sunday! Just got done filling out the vanderbuilt assesment for tristan as well to have him tested for ADHD. Its not going to hurt to have him tested for it and if he in fact has it then it will be nice to use different strategies to alleviate some of the stress and frustration we both have. Hes frustrated because im frustrated so we shall see. Between his ocd tendencies, temper, and activeness i dont see him not having it but im just curious. Just took another test yesterday for school. I am really hoping I am doing well since I havnt been making it much. As long as I get a 2.0 or better im good. I can always work on improving my GPA in the next few semesters. Im currently looking for work...im gonna go through express for some temp jobs here and there since no one wants to hire a prego. haha. And I already have so much going on that I dont have much more time to spend on something like that. Thanksgiving is coming up, then tristans birthday party that weekend and then christmas. Holidays are comign up way too quick it seems and before I know it the new baby will be here. Excited to see what next year has in store for us. Just a quick update...hope everyone has a good month. :)

Can't Wait for holiday season!

Well I suppose its time to update.

Tristan is doing well in school and is in speech therapy again. They said he is doing just fine now but we figured he might as well stay in for the last few sounds he has trouble in because it was such a success this last year. Hes getting really excited about holidays and the new baby. He is doing extremely well with counseling and I am proud of him for being so excited about his new brother/sister.

Me and the growing baby are doing great. I'm 17 weeks this weekend and I am finally starting to feel the baby move a bit. I should know in the next few weeks what I am having. I can't wait to meet my new baby. I'm excited. I still have morning sickness sometimes and I have heartburn constantly but otherwise things seem to be going good. School is going well for me too. I have missed quite a bit but I am still getting good grades. Been keeping up on my reading and homework from home. I'm hoping next semester I can take 3 classes online so I wont have to worry about driving while I'm so pregnant and missing finals because I'm having a baby ha ha. Human development is doing me well.

So Pumpkin patch this week, Halloween coming up soon, Finding out what I'm having, then thanksgiving, and ts birthday, and Christmas. I'm excited for fall. This year started out pretty horribly but it is turning out to be a great year. :)

<3<3<3

Yay for Rain! :)

Well now that I have my child back after him being gone a week I can finally get back into the swing of things. I had a very relaxing week since I was sick. :/ I missed him but it was nice to just relax and know he was having fun. :) He said he had a blast and told me all about it tonight. School starts for him on Tuesday! WOOHOO! hes soooooo excited! Im pretty excited about this nice cool weather we are having. Its nice to know that holidays are right around the corner. :)

So Im 13 weeks today, and that means I only have a few days left of the first trimester. Heres hoping I get over this morning sickness crap. Im tired of constantly feeling like Im going to throw up. Ive started thinking about names but nothing has really stuck yet. Tristan is getting more and more excited about the baby. He came home today and talked to it and said he missed it. Hes gonna be a great big brother. :)

Since I have changed my major I have felt like Im not doing enough because there hasnt been much homework besides reading. First exams are next week and it seems like I am breezing through this semester. Its nice to know that my changing my major was a great decision! I am so ready to start volunteering in tristans school again and be apart of that headstart family again. I dont know what I would do without them. Alright thats an update on us. Hope everyone is enjoying the start of Fall. <3

Ok heres the news!

SOOOO...I have been keeping this a secret for quite a while now. :) I have been doing pretty good if you ask me and so have most of the people who I told. Thanks to those who havnt said anything. So here it is....

IM PREGNANT!!!!

yep thats right. I wont go into specifics about the situation but I am getting excited. I am about 11 weeks along and have already had two ultrasounds. Baby looks great and is growing like its supposed to. Tristan is excited as well and to be completely honest, I am ok with the entire situation. Im due at the end of march and will find out what im having in November. This was not planned by any means but its over and done with so ive accepted it and am getting excited. Which is how it should be in my opinion. Cant wait to share this experience with my friends and family and LOVE all the support I am getting already. <3 you all and thanks for being there for me. :)

Lots Of Changes!

Well today was my first day back to school. I think I am really going to love my new major and I cant wait to work on my minor too. Im taking Families in Poverty and Adult Development and learning. They are pretty interesting subjects. I have another roommate now, her name is Shawna and she has a son named austin. The boys are finally getting along better and getting used to the new living situation...it only took a few months. I do have some news but am not announcing it to everyone just yet. My closest friends and family know and everyone else will know soon enough. :) Im getting excited but it is very unexpected and isnt something i was trying to do at the moment. Anyways....

Tristan is in counseling now and he loves it! He loves going to see him every few weeks and its really helping me work on things with him. I have found that I am following through more with some things and it seems to be working. His meltdowns have gotten much better and im not yelling as much it seems like. He has been listening better though too. He starts school very soon well kinda. A month away. he is soooooo ready. I got him a preschool book to go over the things he learned last year and then some to work on for the next month and then through the year as well.

I honestly cannot wait until we are both back into the school routine. it will be much easier and my days will go a lot smoother. Hope everyone had a great summer. Ill update again soon. Love you All.

Another Year gone...

Well now that im 26 i feel much older...haha just kidding! Yesterday was fantastic! Life is good for this mama and I wouldnt change anything right now. Tristan and I are doing so much together, I have amazing friends that i spend most of my time with, and I have a new outlook on life. This weekend was amazing as well. Spent it with my mom and son doing a garage sale. We had so much fun and made some money too! Shawna and Kevin came up saturday and that was super fun.

I was a bit overwhelmed yesterday by all the birthday love! I just wasnt expecting so many people to say happy birthday! Thanks everyone for making my day super special. I had a cake made for me, went for an amazing walk, and spent time with my sister, oh and went to ihop for breakfast! YUMMY!

But now its back to the normal routine. Looking for a job still...tristans got school this week...only a few weeks left before summer vacation! I have a bunch to do for the school before I go back in the fall. and a busy next few weeks. Hope everyone is having a great month! Love you all!

Quick note before getting ready for the day!

Quick blog before I go shower and get ready for the day. So I am currently looking at 3 new degrees but I think I have narrowed it down to two. All are around the same thing just different focuses. Human resources management, human Development, and psychology. I would still have my minor in Spanish which makes me more employable. =) I have decided not to consider the human resources management...but if I go with Human Development then I can get my masters in psychology. I have a feeling thats what I am leaning towards. I have until june to decide, and even though I feel like that will be a good fit, my counselor told me not to make any life changing decisions for another 4 weeks (when my meds are in full effect) so I will wait 4 weeks and then go through the steps of starting my new major! Im gettin excited about it. Im nervous too though because I really need a job. :/ Even if its just for the summer. Fall semester I will be going to 2 classes so I can get my financial aid back in ok status and then after that bump back up to 3. Just wanted to fill you all in on my major options and let you know what the advisor showed me. :)

Moving Forward

I am trying to move forward. Ive got school pretty much squared away. Tristan and I are getting on some what the same page now. Its much more peaceful here now that I'm not as stressed out. I am looking for a job so if anyone hears of anything let me know. And starting Wednesday I will be teaching myself medical terminology. Then I can apply at the hospital for an office position.

This past few months have been extremely tough for me. Ive been pretty depressed lately, but im working on that and am on my way to getting better. Now that im not having to worry about school. t and i can spend some much needed time together before i find a job. I love him more than anything and he keeps me going most days. hes been so understanding and he keeps hugging me and telling me its ok when i get upset. Hes the best 4 year old you could ever meet. I can't wait until i am back to my normal positive self...this negative crap is exhausting.

Anyways...I still havn't decided on a major so for classes this fall im going to start my spanish minor and then hopefully get a teir 3 class out of the way that will work for any of the majors im thinking about...yes thats right 2 classes. Im also going to ask about online classes so I can work...I think a break over the summer will be good for me and when I get a job I will be much happier...Hoping to get up to my moms before I get a job and hoping to take a trip to the beach too. T and I needs some fun in our lives and the beach is the perfect place for it. even if we just play in the sand. :)

Is it so much to ask???

Is it really so much to ask for people to stop lying to me about everything? Im soooo tired of all the bullshit around me. All I want to do is live my life and be happy. I want to meet someone that loves me for me even with all my flaws. I want to start a family, buy a house, and work for a living. Go on family vacations. Take random road trips and be able to afford to. I want to finish my degree online.

What I really want to do is cut all the negative out of my life and surround me with all of my positive friends. The ones who really support me and who are there for me and make me laugh when im grumpy. I NEED the positive back in my life before I lose it. So Starting today I am making a change. Im removing all the negative in my life and moving forward with a new look on life. All I'm asking from anyone is the truth. I tell people the truth so I expect the same respect from everyone else!

I just want to be happy.

My plan: Get rid of the negative people in my life, Start running even if it kills me, eat better, do more things with tristan, get a job, only take 2 classes a semester online, live my life, and most of all Get my confidence back and Love my life like I used to.

Heres to a brand new me...or i suppose the old one shining through. :)

My Hollister Model Wanna-be!

So things have been crazy here. I have lost my motivation for school so Ive been stressed about it. I think once I realized I wanted to change my major...my passion for accounting went out the window. OR maybe it was the instructor. haha who knows...none the less i need a break from school. I applied for a clerical job and take the state clerical exam next week so heres to hoping I pass that and manage to get an interview *Fingers Crossed*. I am applying for other jobs too but I really want that one. Great Pay and great benefits.

Today was amazing! We got pictures done with Erika Renae Photography and as always she took some amazing pictures. :) Ill post a few here in a few. It was a blast. Tristan was a little ham and some of them look like he should be in a Hollister ad or a commercial! Someone send it to a modeling agency so he can go to work ;) Here is Erika's website. I would recommend her to anyone! http://www.erikarenaephotography.com/

 Little Ham

 Me and my boy

 Pickin a flower for mom

 LOVE this picture of my mom

 Hollister boy!

 Peek a boo!

 WEEE!

 The aunt and Uncle with the nephew

 I Love her creativity!

Uncle Ben and T

This is what I live for at the end of the day! The time T and I have!

Now that spring is here I am going to get motivated to start working out again. Im in dire need of a confidence boost so that will help. Wish me luck on my clerical exam and send good thoughts and pray that I get this job! :)

Activities for Tristan

So we went bowling today and he had a blast! I got 39 and he got 93! He did so good! I was proud of him. But im thinking ill take him bowling at least once a month and then find something else to do with him another day in the month like a movie, the childrens museum in portland, omsi, the zoo, etc, etc. I really think he would enjoy it.
So thats one of my new goals this year, get out more with the little man.

I am also in the process of getting my resume ready and looking for a job. Retail would be fine, no fast food, Barista would be fine...But im really looking for something that I can use my degree for. Even if its just because i have my associates degree. Office work would be fantastic and a paralegal job would be amazing. Ill find something hopefully. Im starting now so hopefully in a few months when school gets out I will be good to go. We will see though.

Just wanted to tell you all about my new plans for t and i. Like I have said before, If i write it (or in this case type it) I tend to stick with it a bit better. :)

Major Changes...Literally

So here I am again considering a major change. No not a big change a change in my major...which I suppose could be considered a Major major change. I would be getting out of business completely. My goal this semester is to keep my financial aid. If i manage to make it through all my classes and still get a chance to be in the business program...I can honestly say that I doubt I will continue with it. Why do I want to struggle and stress myself out through my entire time at school. I want to work while I go to school and I want to do something that I love. Carr has proven to me that this is not something that I am going to love doing. Finance would be a fun major but I have NO idea what I would do with it. So here is what I am looking into.

BA in Public Affairs - After talking with my friend Jenn and Meghan, it seems this will open up many new opportunities between being able to work for agencies like the USGS and USDA and working in a higher education institution I think it would be a good fit for me. Ive always had a love for science...particularly geology, volcanoes, and seismology. So a minor in environmental studies would be cool. I really want to learn spanish though so if i choose a different minor...i would try to learn it at home.

BA in Social Sciences - When I looked this one up on WSU's website it had many directions I could go. The one that I have been looking into most is the justices and sociology. I love law. I have no desire to be a lawyer but I love the discovery process and the research that has to be done for the cases. I could also lean towards social work and psychology. My love for people could be helpful with this direction but not sure if I really want to do that.

I have even considered just getting a general liberal arts degree...just to have my BA. I do know that I need to be around people. I love customer service and helping people. Its always my favorite part of my jobs. Im just a people person. There are so many things that I am interested in...but I know only a few of them will lead me to a career that I love. I love numbers and I love accounting...but...I think i would be better at something else.

Im not giving up...and I keep telling myself that. I feel as though I am giving up...but I really do feel that you can only try so many times before deciding to try something else...I would rather change my major now, than wait and struggle through my next 2 years at WSU to do a job that I will probably hate. I dont want to do taxes or auditing. HA I hate doing my own taxes so why would I want to do a companies...and why do I want to be the person to tell someone..."hey by the way, your accountant really screwed up and you owe the IRS a ton of money." If I stuck with accounting, I would be a cost accountant. All of the internal accounting.

See Im still very undecided about what I want to do in school. But I do know that I am done with the business end of it. Im just tired of doing all that I feel is possible and still not only struggling but failing. It sucks and im ready for something new. That being said...Bring it on...Im excited and ready for a change...

...And in the long run...looking at the big picture...I bet this will be one of the best decisions of my life! :)