Lots of Little THings

So as most of you know, Its a BOY! :) Im excited for him to be here already. Tristan can't wait for his brother to be here either. He keeps talking to him and trying to feel him move. Talking with the dad this weekend about names so hopefully will have a name by sunday! Just got done filling out the vanderbuilt assesment for tristan as well to have him tested for ADHD. Its not going to hurt to have him tested for it and if he in fact has it then it will be nice to use different strategies to alleviate some of the stress and frustration we both have. Hes frustrated because im frustrated so we shall see. Between his ocd tendencies, temper, and activeness i dont see him not having it but im just curious. Just took another test yesterday for school. I am really hoping I am doing well since I havnt been making it much. As long as I get a 2.0 or better im good. I can always work on improving my GPA in the next few semesters. Im currently looking for work...im gonna go through express for some temp jobs here and there since no one wants to hire a prego. haha. And I already have so much going on that I dont have much more time to spend on something like that. Thanksgiving is coming up, then tristans birthday party that weekend and then christmas. Holidays are comign up way too quick it seems and before I know it the new baby will be here. Excited to see what next year has in store for us. Just a quick update...hope everyone has a good month. :)

Can't Wait for holiday season!

Well I suppose its time to update.

Tristan is doing well in school and is in speech therapy again. They said he is doing just fine now but we figured he might as well stay in for the last few sounds he has trouble in because it was such a success this last year. Hes getting really excited about holidays and the new baby. He is doing extremely well with counseling and I am proud of him for being so excited about his new brother/sister.

Me and the growing baby are doing great. I'm 17 weeks this weekend and I am finally starting to feel the baby move a bit. I should know in the next few weeks what I am having. I can't wait to meet my new baby. I'm excited. I still have morning sickness sometimes and I have heartburn constantly but otherwise things seem to be going good. School is going well for me too. I have missed quite a bit but I am still getting good grades. Been keeping up on my reading and homework from home. I'm hoping next semester I can take 3 classes online so I wont have to worry about driving while I'm so pregnant and missing finals because I'm having a baby ha ha. Human development is doing me well.

So Pumpkin patch this week, Halloween coming up soon, Finding out what I'm having, then thanksgiving, and ts birthday, and Christmas. I'm excited for fall. This year started out pretty horribly but it is turning out to be a great year. :)

<3<3<3

Yay for Rain! :)

Well now that I have my child back after him being gone a week I can finally get back into the swing of things. I had a very relaxing week since I was sick. :/ I missed him but it was nice to just relax and know he was having fun. :) He said he had a blast and told me all about it tonight. School starts for him on Tuesday! WOOHOO! hes soooooo excited! Im pretty excited about this nice cool weather we are having. Its nice to know that holidays are right around the corner. :)

So Im 13 weeks today, and that means I only have a few days left of the first trimester. Heres hoping I get over this morning sickness crap. Im tired of constantly feeling like Im going to throw up. Ive started thinking about names but nothing has really stuck yet. Tristan is getting more and more excited about the baby. He came home today and talked to it and said he missed it. Hes gonna be a great big brother. :)

Since I have changed my major I have felt like Im not doing enough because there hasnt been much homework besides reading. First exams are next week and it seems like I am breezing through this semester. Its nice to know that my changing my major was a great decision! I am so ready to start volunteering in tristans school again and be apart of that headstart family again. I dont know what I would do without them. Alright thats an update on us. Hope everyone is enjoying the start of Fall. <3

Ok heres the news!

SOOOO...I have been keeping this a secret for quite a while now. :) I have been doing pretty good if you ask me and so have most of the people who I told. Thanks to those who havnt said anything. So here it is....

IM PREGNANT!!!!

yep thats right. I wont go into specifics about the situation but I am getting excited. I am about 11 weeks along and have already had two ultrasounds. Baby looks great and is growing like its supposed to. Tristan is excited as well and to be completely honest, I am ok with the entire situation. Im due at the end of march and will find out what im having in November. This was not planned by any means but its over and done with so ive accepted it and am getting excited. Which is how it should be in my opinion. Cant wait to share this experience with my friends and family and LOVE all the support I am getting already. <3 you all and thanks for being there for me. :)

Lots Of Changes!

Well today was my first day back to school. I think I am really going to love my new major and I cant wait to work on my minor too. Im taking Families in Poverty and Adult Development and learning. They are pretty interesting subjects. I have another roommate now, her name is Shawna and she has a son named austin. The boys are finally getting along better and getting used to the new living situation...it only took a few months. I do have some news but am not announcing it to everyone just yet. My closest friends and family know and everyone else will know soon enough. :) Im getting excited but it is very unexpected and isnt something i was trying to do at the moment. Anyways....

Tristan is in counseling now and he loves it! He loves going to see him every few weeks and its really helping me work on things with him. I have found that I am following through more with some things and it seems to be working. His meltdowns have gotten much better and im not yelling as much it seems like. He has been listening better though too. He starts school very soon well kinda. A month away. he is soooooo ready. I got him a preschool book to go over the things he learned last year and then some to work on for the next month and then through the year as well.

I honestly cannot wait until we are both back into the school routine. it will be much easier and my days will go a lot smoother. Hope everyone had a great summer. Ill update again soon. Love you All.

Another Year gone...

Well now that im 26 i feel much older...haha just kidding! Yesterday was fantastic! Life is good for this mama and I wouldnt change anything right now. Tristan and I are doing so much together, I have amazing friends that i spend most of my time with, and I have a new outlook on life. This weekend was amazing as well. Spent it with my mom and son doing a garage sale. We had so much fun and made some money too! Shawna and Kevin came up saturday and that was super fun.

I was a bit overwhelmed yesterday by all the birthday love! I just wasnt expecting so many people to say happy birthday! Thanks everyone for making my day super special. I had a cake made for me, went for an amazing walk, and spent time with my sister, oh and went to ihop for breakfast! YUMMY!

But now its back to the normal routine. Looking for a job still...tristans got school this week...only a few weeks left before summer vacation! I have a bunch to do for the school before I go back in the fall. and a busy next few weeks. Hope everyone is having a great month! Love you all!

Quick note before getting ready for the day!

Quick blog before I go shower and get ready for the day. So I am currently looking at 3 new degrees but I think I have narrowed it down to two. All are around the same thing just different focuses. Human resources management, human Development, and psychology. I would still have my minor in Spanish which makes me more employable. =) I have decided not to consider the human resources management...but if I go with Human Development then I can get my masters in psychology. I have a feeling thats what I am leaning towards. I have until june to decide, and even though I feel like that will be a good fit, my counselor told me not to make any life changing decisions for another 4 weeks (when my meds are in full effect) so I will wait 4 weeks and then go through the steps of starting my new major! Im gettin excited about it. Im nervous too though because I really need a job. :/ Even if its just for the summer. Fall semester I will be going to 2 classes so I can get my financial aid back in ok status and then after that bump back up to 3. Just wanted to fill you all in on my major options and let you know what the advisor showed me. :)

Moving Forward

I am trying to move forward. Ive got school pretty much squared away. Tristan and I are getting on some what the same page now. Its much more peaceful here now that I'm not as stressed out. I am looking for a job so if anyone hears of anything let me know. And starting Wednesday I will be teaching myself medical terminology. Then I can apply at the hospital for an office position.

This past few months have been extremely tough for me. Ive been pretty depressed lately, but im working on that and am on my way to getting better. Now that im not having to worry about school. t and i can spend some much needed time together before i find a job. I love him more than anything and he keeps me going most days. hes been so understanding and he keeps hugging me and telling me its ok when i get upset. Hes the best 4 year old you could ever meet. I can't wait until i am back to my normal positive self...this negative crap is exhausting.

Anyways...I still havn't decided on a major so for classes this fall im going to start my spanish minor and then hopefully get a teir 3 class out of the way that will work for any of the majors im thinking about...yes thats right 2 classes. Im also going to ask about online classes so I can work...I think a break over the summer will be good for me and when I get a job I will be much happier...Hoping to get up to my moms before I get a job and hoping to take a trip to the beach too. T and I needs some fun in our lives and the beach is the perfect place for it. even if we just play in the sand. :)

Is it so much to ask???

Is it really so much to ask for people to stop lying to me about everything? Im soooo tired of all the bullshit around me. All I want to do is live my life and be happy. I want to meet someone that loves me for me even with all my flaws. I want to start a family, buy a house, and work for a living. Go on family vacations. Take random road trips and be able to afford to. I want to finish my degree online.

What I really want to do is cut all the negative out of my life and surround me with all of my positive friends. The ones who really support me and who are there for me and make me laugh when im grumpy. I NEED the positive back in my life before I lose it. So Starting today I am making a change. Im removing all the negative in my life and moving forward with a new look on life. All I'm asking from anyone is the truth. I tell people the truth so I expect the same respect from everyone else!

I just want to be happy.

My plan: Get rid of the negative people in my life, Start running even if it kills me, eat better, do more things with tristan, get a job, only take 2 classes a semester online, live my life, and most of all Get my confidence back and Love my life like I used to.

Heres to a brand new me...or i suppose the old one shining through. :)

My Hollister Model Wanna-be!

So things have been crazy here. I have lost my motivation for school so Ive been stressed about it. I think once I realized I wanted to change my major...my passion for accounting went out the window. OR maybe it was the instructor. haha who knows...none the less i need a break from school. I applied for a clerical job and take the state clerical exam next week so heres to hoping I pass that and manage to get an interview *Fingers Crossed*. I am applying for other jobs too but I really want that one. Great Pay and great benefits.

Today was amazing! We got pictures done with Erika Renae Photography and as always she took some amazing pictures. :) Ill post a few here in a few. It was a blast. Tristan was a little ham and some of them look like he should be in a Hollister ad or a commercial! Someone send it to a modeling agency so he can go to work ;) Here is Erika's website. I would recommend her to anyone! http://www.erikarenaephotography.com/

 Little Ham

 Me and my boy

 Pickin a flower for mom

 LOVE this picture of my mom

 Hollister boy!

 Peek a boo!

 WEEE!

 The aunt and Uncle with the nephew

 I Love her creativity!

Uncle Ben and T

This is what I live for at the end of the day! The time T and I have!

Now that spring is here I am going to get motivated to start working out again. Im in dire need of a confidence boost so that will help. Wish me luck on my clerical exam and send good thoughts and pray that I get this job! :)

Activities for Tristan

So we went bowling today and he had a blast! I got 39 and he got 93! He did so good! I was proud of him. But im thinking ill take him bowling at least once a month and then find something else to do with him another day in the month like a movie, the childrens museum in portland, omsi, the zoo, etc, etc. I really think he would enjoy it.
So thats one of my new goals this year, get out more with the little man.

I am also in the process of getting my resume ready and looking for a job. Retail would be fine, no fast food, Barista would be fine...But im really looking for something that I can use my degree for. Even if its just because i have my associates degree. Office work would be fantastic and a paralegal job would be amazing. Ill find something hopefully. Im starting now so hopefully in a few months when school gets out I will be good to go. We will see though.

Just wanted to tell you all about my new plans for t and i. Like I have said before, If i write it (or in this case type it) I tend to stick with it a bit better. :)

Major Changes...Literally

So here I am again considering a major change. No not a big change a change in my major...which I suppose could be considered a Major major change. I would be getting out of business completely. My goal this semester is to keep my financial aid. If i manage to make it through all my classes and still get a chance to be in the business program...I can honestly say that I doubt I will continue with it. Why do I want to struggle and stress myself out through my entire time at school. I want to work while I go to school and I want to do something that I love. Carr has proven to me that this is not something that I am going to love doing. Finance would be a fun major but I have NO idea what I would do with it. So here is what I am looking into.

BA in Public Affairs - After talking with my friend Jenn and Meghan, it seems this will open up many new opportunities between being able to work for agencies like the USGS and USDA and working in a higher education institution I think it would be a good fit for me. Ive always had a love for science...particularly geology, volcanoes, and seismology. So a minor in environmental studies would be cool. I really want to learn spanish though so if i choose a different minor...i would try to learn it at home.

BA in Social Sciences - When I looked this one up on WSU's website it had many directions I could go. The one that I have been looking into most is the justices and sociology. I love law. I have no desire to be a lawyer but I love the discovery process and the research that has to be done for the cases. I could also lean towards social work and psychology. My love for people could be helpful with this direction but not sure if I really want to do that.

I have even considered just getting a general liberal arts degree...just to have my BA. I do know that I need to be around people. I love customer service and helping people. Its always my favorite part of my jobs. Im just a people person. There are so many things that I am interested in...but I know only a few of them will lead me to a career that I love. I love numbers and I love accounting...but...I think i would be better at something else.

Im not giving up...and I keep telling myself that. I feel as though I am giving up...but I really do feel that you can only try so many times before deciding to try something else...I would rather change my major now, than wait and struggle through my next 2 years at WSU to do a job that I will probably hate. I dont want to do taxes or auditing. HA I hate doing my own taxes so why would I want to do a companies...and why do I want to be the person to tell someone..."hey by the way, your accountant really screwed up and you owe the IRS a ton of money." If I stuck with accounting, I would be a cost accountant. All of the internal accounting.

See Im still very undecided about what I want to do in school. But I do know that I am done with the business end of it. Im just tired of doing all that I feel is possible and still not only struggling but failing. It sucks and im ready for something new. That being said...Bring it on...Im excited and ready for a change...

...And in the long run...looking at the big picture...I bet this will be one of the best decisions of my life! :)

Just Breathe

This Song by Anna Nalick is one of my favorites. Anytime Im stressed this song calms me a bit. Reminds me to Breathe. 

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,

I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to criticize,

Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,

Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand.

and breathe, just breathe

woah breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe. 

Things have been good besides me being sick for a week and sleeping for 3 days. Must have needed it. Im getting back into a normal routine. Getting my books read and getting back to working out. Still doing well on eating good. well kinda. haha. I have lots planned for this year including new glasses and pictures with my boy. 

He is doing great by the way. doing amazing in school and getting better at controlling his temper. I <3 him. But thats all...wanted to share this song because it calms me down or makes me cry...either way i get it all out listening to this song haha.

Don't Get me started! seriously...

Ok seriously, I am all for everyone having their own opinion...Dont get me wrong but I can not stand racists. Everyone was brought up differently and i get that but seriously. my son is at the very least a quarter Mexican and I was brought up to care about everyone no matter what their race or social class is. I am all for equality for everyone and to be completely honest, We (as in white people) or our ancestors were horrible to African Americans between slavery and then the segregation laws...we treated them like shit and why? because they were different. Same with gay people...why cant they be treated the way "we" all want to be treated? I will say that we have come a long way from where we were even 50 years ago, but still are we seriously that big of assholes to not have an open mind? Maybe Im the only one that feels this way or so strongly about it but It irks me beyond belief.

On a better note...This semester will be better, I can tell already. My tax book is actually interesting and my finance class should be fun. Im so excited to do math! I miss it a lot. English should be fairly easy...Im off to a good start and cant wait to keep it up. im doing great with my budget as well and am starting to work out again starting tomorrow.  I think i will start running on the treadmill at school before class when I get to school. Hope everyone has a good week. Luv you all.

New Year = New Possibilities

So I have lots of goals for this year and I am determined to accomplish all of them! This new year will be better then last year for everyone I am sure. So here are my goals:
1. Be a better friend, mother, and student. I really need to stay in touch with my friends and hang out with them more...Im determined to have more of a social life this year. I think I deserve it since the last few years I have done nothing but school and work. Tristan is a great kid and Im always told Im a great mom but I really would like to spend more time with him and doing fun stuff. Last year was a blast and it seemed like I was always going places and doing things with him and I hope to do the same this year.
2. Do better in school. Now that I know what to expect out of this new school, I will try harder. I am going to be dropping to either 2 or 3 classes a semester and am planning on getting a part time job at least just to have that extra cushion...Plus i will need one for the summer as I will be taking summer semester off. I need a break in between so I can focus better.
3. GET IN SHAPE! This is always on my list of Goals for the new year but this year I am determined. I am already in the habit of eating better and use my Wii to work out a bunch but I really would like to be able to run. Stupid I know but I have never been able to run even when I danced 6 days out of the week. I think I may get a gym membership...or just work out at the school gym...Just gotta make it a habit so I wont have to force myself to do it.
4. Save money for my vacation.  I really want to travel somewhere and I am determined to save some money for that. I have 3 places in mind and each would require a different amount haha. But where ever I go I want to be there at least a week! I am in dire need of a vacation so I am determined to save some money.

There are some of my goals for this year. I can't wait to see what 2011 has to offer me. I have faith that there will be many new possibilities for us all and I know we all will have a great year.